10 ways to keep your loved one’s memories alive

When someone close to us passes away, grief can feel overwhelming. While nothing takes away the loss, many people find comfort in creating rituals and spaces that keep the memory of their loved one close. Keeping memories alive can give us something to hold onto — a reminder that love doesn’t end when a life does.

We sat down with Jackie Tarabay from the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement, and Corinne Laan, author of The Art of Grieving: Gentle Self-care Practices to Heal a Broken Heart. Both grief experts agree that finding ways to stay connected plays an important role in long-term healing.

“Memory rituals remind us that the love we shared doesn’t disappear,” says Corinne. Jackie adds, “Keeping memories alive gives people a way to express emotions and maintain a continuing bond.”

To help you honour a loved one’s life and keep their memory alive, here are ten ways to maintain a lasting connection.

1. Create a remembrance garden

There’s something about being outside that makes it easier to carry heavy emotions. A remembrance garden doesn’t need to be fancy. It could be a whole section of your yard, or just a single potted plant on a balcony. Some people plant a tree that will grow tall over the years. Others create a patch of flowers that come back every spring.

Corinne often suggests this to the people she counsels.

“Taking care of plants is a symbolic way of tending to the love you have for your loved one,” she says. “As the plants grow and change with the seasons, it can be a reminder that grief changes too.”

It’s not really about the plants, it’s about the act of tending. Watering, pruning, and noticing small changes. Some days it will feel grounding, other days it might stir up painful feelings. Both are okay, and that’s part of why it works.

If you don’t have outdoor space, you can still create something indoors. A cluster of pots by a sunny window, maybe with a candle or a framed photo nearby. Over time, you’ll find yourself coming back to that corner again and again. It can become a ritual, a place to sit, to breathe, to remember.

2. Host a celebration of life

Traditional memorial services can often be quite solemn, however, a celebration of life can potentially feel lighter. It’s about sharing stories, playing music, laughing, and remembering the person as they were in life.

Jackie says these gatherings often help families move forward.

“They allow people to honour sadness and joy together. You can cry, but you can also laugh. It makes space for both.”

What a celebration looks like depends on the person. You might book a hall, or simply gather in a park or living room. Some families cook their loved ones’ favourite foods and turn them into a meal. Others put together photo boards or video slideshows. Sometimes people bring an object that reminds them of the person and share its story.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it. The point is to create a space that feels like them. A day that reflects their quirks, their loves, their presence. Something people walk away from feeling like, yes, that’s who they were.

3. Write a letter

Letters can hold things we can’t always say out loud. After a death, they can become a way to keep the conversation going.

“You may want to start by telling them what you wished you had said while they were alive,” Jackie explains. “Or write about how life has changed - the sadness, but also the joy and laughter they would have appreciated.”

There are so many ways to do this. Some people keep a dedicated journal, filling it with letters over months or years. Others write one on a birthday or anniversary. A few lines jotted down on scrap paper can be just as powerful as pages poured out in one sitting.

You might tuck your letters into a box, or you might read them aloud. You might keep them private forever; it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re giving your feelings somewhere to go. Instead of bottling them up, you’re letting them find shape.

4. Preserve memories digitally

Not all memory-keeping has to be physical. For many families, digital archives are a lifeline. They keep photos, videos, and even voice recordings safe and easy to share.

A cloud folder where everyone can upload images, a private social media tribute page, or a memorial app where people record audio stories are tools that create a central place that’s accessible from anywhere.

That accessibility matters. If your family is spread across cities or countries, everyone can still contribute and connect. Younger generations, who may not have many personal memories, get a chance to see and hear the person in vivid detail, and you’ll know that those photos or videos won’t be lost to time.

Digital memory-keeping doesn’t replace the physical; it sits alongside it. A shoebox of photos has its own magic, and a secure online archive makes sure nothing is forgotten.

5. Create a memorial website

A memorial website takes digital remembrance a step further. Instead of scattered files, it becomes a dedicated space.

Jackie has seen how this helps families.

“It’s a great way to bring a community of people together to share in the remembrance and life celebration,” she says.

Websites can include guestbooks, photo galleries, timelines, and even playlists. Some families add to them each year on birthdays or anniversaries. Others keep them as they are - a snapshot in time.

The difference between a memorial site and social media is intention. A memorial site exists for one purpose: to remember. It can be public or private, simple or elaborate. But it becomes a place you know you can return to, whenever you want.

6. Compile a book

Books carry a weight that digital doesn’t. A memory book feels solid in your hands, something you can flip through slowly when you need comfort.

“It highlights the gifts given by the deceased, allowing the bereaved person to carry their legacy,” Jackie says.

It might be a scrapbook filled with photos and handwritten notes. A notebook passed around at a family gathering where people jot down stories. Or a printed book made from collected memories and photos. Some are messy and casual, others are carefully put together. All are meaningful.

There’s something grounding about opening a book years later and seeing words in someone else’s handwriting, or a photo you’d forgotten. It becomes a keepsake that can be handed down through generations - a way of ensuring memories don’t fade.

7. Create a playlist

Music brings memories to the surface in a way little else does. A playlist of songs tied to your loved one can feel like sitting with them again.

Jackie explains, “It creates an opportunity to reminisce and celebrate the deceased person.”

Start with the songs they loved. Add tracks tied to shared moments - maybe the first dance at their wedding, or the soundtrack of a family holiday. Some people invite friends and family to contribute too, creating a collective playlist that tells a story.

Listening can become a ritual. Play it on their birthday, on anniversaries, or simply on days when you miss them. It’s a way of inviting them into your day again.

8. Reframe birthdays and holidays

Certain dates make grief feel sharp again (particularly after a sudden loss). Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas - days when their absence feels too big.

Corinne encourages families to create new rituals.

“You can cook their favourite meal, dedicate the start of the festivities by raising a glass in their memory, or fill your living room with their favourite flowers,” she says.

Lighting a candle. Watching a film they loved. Organising a picnic or outing in their honour. Even small gestures can make a difference. These new traditions don’t erase sadness, but they bring meaning back to difficult days. They remind us that love can still be celebrated.

9. Donate to charity

Carrying on someone’s generosity is a powerful tribute. It doesn’t need to be large-scale to matter.

“You can participate in a fundraising event, make a donation, or even create an annual fundraiser in their memory,” Corinne says. “It’s a way of involving family and friends and keeping their spirit of generosity alive.”

That might mean a yearly donation to a charity they cared about. Volunteering on their birthday. Sponsoring a scholarship or award in their name. Or organising a fundraising walk or run.

Even the smallest act of giving can feel like a way of keeping their values alive. Each donation, each hour spent volunteering, becomes part of their story.

10. Other personal ways to honour a loved one

Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most. Here are some small but powerful ways to remember a loved one:

• Cook their favourite meal and share it with others
• Wear a piece of their jewellery or clothing
• Carry on a family tradition they started
• Collect recipes into a family cookbook
• Frame a handwritten note, card, or recipe from them

Small, everyday gestures can weave someone’s presence into your life. And just as memory-keeping helps you carry love forward, planning ahead can help your own family later on - whether through insurance or thoughtful estate planning.

Frequently asked questions about keeping memories alive

Everyone grieves in their own way, but some questions come up often. Here are a few simple answers that may help as you think about the best way to keep a loved one’s memory alive.

What is the difference between a memorial service and a celebration of life?

A memorial service is usually more formal and reflective, often with religious or traditional elements. A celebration of life is usually more relaxed, with stories, music and shared moments that highlight the person’s character.

How can I involve children in remembering a loved one?

Younger children might draw pictures or create keepsake boxes. Older children might help plant a remembrance tree or contribute to a scrapbook. The idea is to give them age-appropriate ways to join in, so they feel included and reassured.

How can I keep a loved one’s memory alive if I live far from family?

Digital options are helpful. Shared photo albums, memorial websites, group video calls, and collaborative playlists all allow people to connect and remember together, even when they can’t be in the same place.

Think about the future of your loved ones with Real Funeral Insurance

There’s no single “right” way to keep someone’s memory alive. For some, it’s a garden or a playlist. For others, it’s writing letters, hosting a celebration of life, or simply lighting a candle at the end of the day. What matters most is finding the rituals that feel meaningful to you and your family.

Grief doesn’t disappear (and can even be delayed), but these acts of remembrance can help transform it into something softer - a continuing bond that honours the love you shared.

At the same time, thinking about your own future can be an act of care for the people you love. Having plans in place, from memory-keeping to financial protection, can make a difficult time a little easier.

Find out how Real Funeral Insurance can help ease the financial burden for your family, giving them the space to focus on what really matters without worrying about the cost of your funeral.